이웅진의 결혼이야기

Since1991.
누구를 만나 결혼하느냐에 따라 인생의 방향이 결정되기도 합니다. 이웅진의 26년차 결혼이야기를 통해 인연의 중요성과 결혼의 행복함을 이야기하고자 합니다. 그동안 쌓아둔 26년이 연애의 노하우를 알려드립니다.


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[글로벌 한국계 사랑이야기] 결혼을 했는데, 미혼이라고
12/18/2017 01:22 am
 글쓴이 : sunwoo
조회 : 1,036  


결혼정보회사에 아들의 가입상담을 하러 온 어머니가 매니저에게 언성을 높였다.

“우리 아들이 미혼이지 왜 재혼인가요?” 
“결혼생활을 하셨다면서요?” 

“몇달 밖에 안살았고, 혼인신고도 안했어요. 서류상  총각이라고요.” 
“엄연히 결혼식도 했고, 주변에서 그 사실을 다 아는데, 어떻게 미혼이라 고 할 수 있겠어요?”


어머니는 결혼을 한 적이 있는 아들을 미혼으로 가입시키고 싶었던 것이다.
사실 주변에서 이런 경우가 적지 않다.

이 아들처럼 혼인신고를 하지 않고 결혼생활을 하는 관계를 ‘사실혼’이라고 한다.
사실혼은 법률상 미혼이다.
하지만 사실혼은 동거와는 달리
결혼식을 올렸거나 결혼할 의사가 있는 것이기 때문에 일정 부분은 법률의 적용을 받는다.

혼인신고 하지 않은 사실혼도 엄연한 부부관계?

A씨는 직장동료 소개로 만난 남성과
1년 정도 교제하다가 결혼을 하게 되었는데,
결혼식을 앞두고 남성이 고백을 하였다고 한다.

몇 달 사귄 여성이 임신을 하는 바람에 서둘러서 결혼식을 올렸는데,
성격도 안맞고 유산을 해서 헤어졌다는 것이다.
서류상 부부관계가 아니라서 합의서를 작성하는 것으로 
깔끔하게 정리했으니 걱정하지 말라고 했다지만,
그녀는 고민이 많다.

“연애하다가 헤어진 것처럼가볍게 얘기하더라고요.
하지만 제 입 장에서는 그 사람이 이혼한 거나 마찬가지거든요.
너무 실망이 커서 어떻게 해야 할지 모르겠어요.”

이혼이 증가하면서
결혼하자마자 헤어지는 조기이혼도 늘고 있다.
“일단 살아보고 나서..” 라는 생각으로 혼인신고를 미루기도 하지만,
신혼여행에서 돌아와 채 짐을 풀기도 전에 헤어지는 커플도 많으니 사실혼이 많아지는 건 당연한 결과이다.

바빠서, 살아보고 나서, 혼인신고 미루는 부부들

선우에서 몇 년전 결혼하고도
혼인신고를 하지 않는 부부들에게 그 이유를 물은 적이 있다.

‘시간이 없어서’가 71%로 가장 많았고,
살아보고 하겠다는 경우가 13.7%였다.
심지어 혼인신고가 필요없다는 커플도 4.8%였다.
결혼의 불확실성이 높아지고,
바쁜 생활 속에서  자의건, 타의건 사실혼은 늘고 있다.

32세의 B씨는 1년 전 영화 같은 사건의 주인공이 되었다.

한 여자를 만났는데,
적극적으로 결혼을 서둘러서 몇 달 만에 결혼을 하게 되었다.
그런데 결혼식장에 여자의 남편이라는 사람이 찾아와서
행패를 부리는 바람에 결혼식은 엉망이 되고 말았다.

여자가 다른 남자와 사실혼 관계였던 것이다.
더욱 기가 막힌 것은 여자의 꼬임에 빠져
결혼을 앞두고 동거를 시작했으니
결과적으로 사실혼 관계가 되어버린 것이다.

억울하게 사기결혼을 한 B씨의 사정은 안타깝지만,
그렇다고 그에게 미혼여성을 소개하기는 힘들다. 

결혼식을 했거나 부부처럼 살았다면
재혼으로 간주해서 소개가 진행된다.

 

 

글로벌1218.jpg

 
Global Love Story : Cohabitation/Common law spouses
You are married or not married yet?

A mother who came to enroll her son as a member yelled at the couple manager.

“My son is not married yet. Why is he already married?”
“I heard through grapevine telegraph that your son had been in marriage already.”

“His cohabitation was only couple of months. He never got marriage license. He is sure a never-married single by law.”
“I heard that your son had a marriage ceremony, and everybody knows that.  How could you insist that your son is legally never married?”

The mother wanted to give her son a membership as a single, never-married man. There are a few such cases around. Cohabitation without marriage license is commonly called common law marriage.  Common law marriage is not marriage in the eyes of law. The common law marriage is, however, different from simple cohabitation because it had marriage ceremony or the intent of marriage.  The law intervenes somehow in this respect.

Is common law marriage equal to legal marriage?

Miss A married one of her colleagues after around 1 year’s billing and cooing. She got, however, a confession from her husband one day. Her husband told her that he had had a wife by marriage ceremony, but had terminated the cohabitation because of miscarriage and incompatible characters.   He told her that the marriage was not licensed, that he and his wife made a clean dissolution, and there is nothing to worry about. She was baffled.

“My husband trivialized it like a daily stuff. I think, however, that is nothing less than a marriage. I don’t know what to do about this matter.”

As divorce/dissolution increases recently, the early divorce that terminates the marriage right after the marriage ceremony increases, too. Some people may delay getting the marriage license because they want to get it “after some trial period.” Others may terminate the relationship even before they have their honeymoon baggage put back in the storage. Hence, the so-called common law marriage/cohabitation increases.
 

Couples who delay the marriage license because they are busy or they want to do it after “a certain trial period.”

Years ago The Sunoo, Inc. surveyed the married couples without marriage licenses. 71% of the surveyed replied that they had been too busy to get the licenses, and 13.7% replied that they wanted to get the licenses after a certain trial period.  4.8% replied that they didn’t need licenses at all. The common law marriage is increasing due to the diminishing expectation about marriage and the modern hectic life.

Mr B, who is 32 years old, was once like a hero in a movie.
He met a beautiful once-in-lifetime lady, and they hurried to marry within couples of months. However, a certain man stood up in their marriage ceremony, and shouted that he is the husband of the bride. The fact was that bride was once in cohabitation with that man.  To make it worse, the pretentious attitude of the woman made the cohabitation develop to common law marriage because the man thought that he had the real intent to marry her. In such cases, Mr B may look miserable. It is very unlikely that the introduction of never-married single woman to him for marriage. If someone had been through marriage ceremony or lived like a common law spouse, he/she would not be treated as never-married single anymore.

 

 

 

♥선우공식블로그
http://blog.naver.com/sunoo1111

♥커플닷넷
http://www.couple.net

♥페이스북
https://www.facebook.com/sunoo.weddingTV

♥인스타그램
https://www.instagram.com/sunoo.weddingTV


 
 

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