couple managers talk about stories and romance between men and women
The woman with a house and the man without a house
We are living in
the world where we cannot get married, not because we cannot find our partners,
but because we do have enough money. One of the most severe problems is the increasing
housing prices that take 70% of the marriage cost.
In Korea, men usually prepare a house/room for marriage. Even if bride and
groom prepare their new home together, Korean custom makes men spend much more
money on the housing problem. Therefore, the rising house prices is a
complicated issue for men and grooms’ parents.
A female member posted her concern on the board. She, who is in her early
30’, is dating a college friend. Her boyfriend, who is three years older than
her, got his Ph.D. in one of the best universities in the States and just
started to teach in Korea as an adjunct professor. He is well regarded in
academia and is anticipated to be a faculty member soon. But he does not have any
economic foundation, which makes her hesitate to say “yes” to him.
“Should I wait
for my future husband to prepare a house?”: this is her
“Maybe buying a house is not realistic, but still, men should be able to get a long-term
to afford a house means that he is not ready to get married? If you love him,
it is just OK for you to start from a small room!”
“Maybe you should
lay your hope on his future, rather than his reality. If you two work hard
together, you will be able to buy your own house.”
Members offered different ideas and solutions. Some people said, “husband
and wife should work together for housing” or “do not be discouraged and get
married even if you two would start from a small room.” But still, we could see
that many of the female members could not get rid of the conventional image:
men must afford a house/room.
There is, of course, a good counterexample. A woman, who is in her late 30’,
works in a public enterprise and owns two houses. Even if she has the socio-economic
background (and even if she dated more than hundred times), but she is still single.
She dated those men with a conventional belief that “men must have better
background and condition than women.” But during the fifteen years of her
successful working professional career, she could not find a man who had
better condition than her, while she had been enjoying her high salary, high rank, and two
We matched a man working in a large company. At that time, he did not own
house. We asked her,
“We want to match you with a decent man. But he
did not have any economic background. He does not own house and has a lease. If
you don’t mind this, we want to introduce this gentleman to you.”
“Why do you want to match this member with me?”
“Firstly, he has a good character. He is a very
competent man and promoted fast. He had a particular reason that he could not
save a lot of money. But he solved the problem and had been saving money for
the last couple of years.”
The female member was silent as if she has never thought about this case.
“Do you believe men must afford a house?
Is lease not enough for a newly-wed couple?”
“No, I don’t but…”
“Usually, one house is just enough for husband and
wife. But luckily, you already have two houses.”
Do you still need to marry a man who
owns a house?
She changed her mind as she talked to us. She received the match we arranged.
She made a relationship with the gentleman we matched, who was masculine,
thoughtful, and competent. The two are waiting for their marriage soon.